After the resounding success of The Exploration by u/Cooperrabbit2003, I've been contacted by Michael Bay and Paramount Pictures to take on the lead rol in the upcoming movie Transformers 64: The Light Side of Saturn, offering to pay me the staggering amount of 244 million dollars. Naturally I accepted, and my first act as a millionaire was to buy the magnificent six-story villa by the east coast of Bilkes Lake.

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So as for my second millionaire act, I hereby invite everyone in town to an inauguration party tonight, with an all you can eat buffet, all you can drink bar, all you can swim olympic pool, and all you can snort well, you know what. Everyone who comes will get a gift basket with two kilograms of knishes, eighteen cuban cigars and twenty toothpicks coated with gold. Swing by everyone!