Third attempt, tried to go to one not on rubmaps. Did my research and found a promising one. Generic name, blacked out windows, open till 9, generic Google photos. The reviews were good, all praising the massage work, both male and female, which I guess is a red flag in retrospect. I go in and the front desk lady takes me to a room and says take everything off and lay down.. and she leaves. I do it, but then my heart sinks when I see the sign that says no inappropriate touching. I laid down with the towel barely over my butt. When she came in she proceeds to completely un fold the towel and cover the entirety of my body. Fuuuuck. I made my tip visible and did all the recommended moves but nope.

The massage itself was legendary. I was butter walking out. Bittersweet.

The nearest rubmaps place is 2 hrs away so that's the main reason I'm googling.