Sorry for the long post. I (26f) got a lot of feedback on my last post, so let me explain more.

I found this therapist (early 30s) on Groupon back in 2019. He was working out of a yoga studio across the street from my apartment. I bought a package and was going every other week for months, best massage of my life. He's a super weird hippie like dude, who has dreads and always seems a little high. I was trying to send my mom his info and just googled him, and the first thing that came up was his mugshot. Turns out he had been in a bust ten years prior where he was arrested for "spiritual healing" in a "church". His charges were for solicitation, but this place was actually operating as a 501(c)(3). (DM me if you want the link to the new articles, I don't wanna put homie on blast in here.) The way I figured, it was 10 years ago, I had already pre-purchased massages, and it was the best massage of my life. Even before this, I was COMPLETELY comfortable with this guy, and he'd never done anything questionable.

I tried poking and proding at the idea of a happy ending at every session, seeing if he would offer any additional services. We were often the only ones at the studio. He did mention that he knows of places that do more liberal healing excersizes, like nudist resorts and such, but I could never budge him past that. I talked about how certain areas just get so sore, like my breasts and inner thighs. He did mention that he did breat massage once, and I brought it up at our next session. He performed a very clinical style massage with special draping, and didn't get anywhere near my nipples. I didn't bring it up again, but he didn't seem very confident doing it the first time.

Fast forward into 2020, the studio has closed but he's invited me to his home studio. I show up at his apartment, a not-so-nice complex in a decent neighborhood. He has a small room with cheap curtains, and the place reeks of weed. I don't care, because I'm about to get the best massage of my life. Since Summer of 2020 I've only been to his house maybe 20 times or so, but I've hoped every time that something more would happen. I always strip down totally naked, make sure my nipples are hard if I'm laying face up, spread my thighs when I'm laying down, and let the drape fall when he asks me to hold it. He does long, full body strokes, so he pretty much has full access. It's worth noting that everytime I've seen him, I've been in a relationship that he knew about.

In this fantasy I've lived out, I don't even need to orgasm. I just want to be in that state, completely relaxed and completely vulnerable, all oiled up, and have someone finger me with no obligation for me to reciprocate. I just want to feel that touch when I'm my most senstive.

Here's my thought... Maybe he didn't want to cross the line because I was taken. Maybe he's afraid of being in trouble with it again. Maybe he thinks I'd want sex, or an orgasm. I'm scared of being too forward because I don't want to lose him for my actual massages, but I need his magical touch on my entire body. I have an appointment with him tomorrow night after not seeing him for a year, and I purchased 90 minutes instead of an hour. Hoping for a miracle.