For me I think this may be less a full blown “phobia”. Reading some of the other redditors here: I do not have panic attacks, feel like I need to vomit, or anything particularly aggressive like this. Instead it is my case that physical intimacy does scare me and leads to too much worry/fear to confidently engage in sex. I experience performance anxiety and arousal constraints because of this fear. So I don’t engage. As a man, that has mostly led to not having sex because (at least in America) it is generally the man’s job to drive things.

I’ve spent YEARS feeling like it was easier for me than everyone else to avoid sex. I stayed abstinent until marriage, where I should’ve been able to unpack what made me hesitate regarding physical intimacy. I had plenty of sex in marriage, but it was always…difficult? Like not every single time, but regularly. I didn’t know it until recently, but my ex wife never put much effort into pursuing me- something I was able to look away from because of my baggage. And because it was hard for me to be the sexual aggressor, we had distance. I recently found out she had been having many affairs the whole time. I am now divorced, and my fear of being touched is much worse.

In this context I was finally able to discover for myself that I have a fear of being touched. And now that I have, I am a bit desperate to address it! I want to have a good, deep, “normal”/healthy sex life! But I still hang onto a fear of being touched, which is now worse, and makes it easier for me to not take any action whatsoever. In fact, I’m more comfortable keeping my space and taking care of things myself. Except I am also craving intimacy and…well, good sex.

So I am wondering if this community has any tips for working on my fear of being touched. Why is it that I am genuinely stressed about receiving pleasure, even though providing pleasure is no issue to me? What can I do about these things? Thanks Reddit 🙏