For some who may be seeing this for the first time, I had posted that I discovered I am hsv2 confirmed and my partner as well. We discovered I was the carrier and we'll just go to my page for the first post. This is only my second.

I'm only going to speak on my experience and my partners experience regarding this news. I in no way want to take away what many may be going through, I'm just ranting I guess to give some level of comfort to those who may be going through it. So regarding the feelings it's been really bad for me mentally as I have felt awful never having known it. The fact I passed this onto my partner is even worse. She hasn't been handling it well mentally and has not come out to blame me. She says she forgives me and that it's not my fault, but I don't agree with the fault part. I didn't do it intentionally and I sure as hell didn't know. Getting properly tested has been confusing since I thought I was getting checked out correctly. My state has a whole catalog of testing processes that it's disheartening they don't do a wide range of blood work. I couldn't find a single specific point of my testing to confirm I even tested in the past for hsv2. So I could have had it or not. The hard part is accepting that I may never know who gave it to me. I more than likely never got a proper screening and don't get me wrong I have tried being safe with my past partners and at some point my current partner and I got to a point where we trusted each other and were comfortable since she has an IUD. I don't want to make it like a walk in the park with regards to our outbreaks. For her she does have it but it's not frequent. She's getting over her first one. For myself I believe I had a blister on my lip but it's gone now. I worry that our outbreaks will be worse but in hindsight we have it light. She describes it worse for her and I believe her. She is taking medicine to control it and she is now passing the end of it. But mentally we are struggling to accept this change in our lives. I guess the ending of this which might seem abrupt. We have been trying to talk to other folks to get support. We know we are there for each other but when we aren't in the same place we don't have anyone so we have been talking to a very select few about this since we need a support system. We still love each other and she assured we are working through this together. We are trying but do yourself a favor. Find or make a good support system. Trust them and you will eventually find a way through it. We aren't out the woods ourselves mentally. But we are working towards it. Please know shit is affecting us as much as it might be affecting you at least with how we are taking it mentally. know that it's okay and things will get better.