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With Hagrid no longer grounds keeper, please welcome Groundskeeper Willie
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Book 1 He reveals Quirrel because he punches him in face after he mentions offhandily he doesn't like Irn Bru

Book 2. He throws a pitchfork at Ginny when he sees killing the chickens (Bernice the hen was his best friend)

Book 3 He has a passionate fling with McGonagall, beats up atleast 2 dementors for freezing his scotch.

Book 4 He teaches Harry the secret way of the Scottish Groundskeeper. Everyone becomes afraid of this new crazier and stronger Harry, except McGonagall who approves

Book 5. Murders Umbridge for having the elves clean the grease off their grill. It's where the flavor is!

Book 6. Harry has a vision of Voldemort insulting kilts and bagpipes. Willie and Harry(who has taken the sacred blood rituals to become Scottish) drive through Malfoy Manor in riding lawn mowers and murder everyone.

Book 7. Willie marries Dobby with McGonagall as his best man, Harry as Dobby's. They both get pregnant. Also even though he wasn't involved and moved to antarctica, Snape also gets pregnant with their love child and noone knows why. Snape blames Harry, Dumbledore and James Potter for good measure.

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1 year ago