I’m really struggling with guilt and confusion, and I could really use some advice or insight from people who’ve experienced something similar.

My girlfriend and I have been together since November of last year. In April this year, she tested positive for HPV16, and now in August, after a colposcopy, she’s been told that she has cellular changes. She’s been accusing me of giving her the virus, and it’s making me feel incredibly guilty, even though I’m not sure when or how exactly she got it, I've read that cellular changes show up after years since you've first got it.

Here’s the background:

• She told me that both of her previous partners were virgins, so she thinks she couldn’t have gotten it from them, which only adds to my guilt.
• She had an HPV test early last year, and it was negative. But in April this year, she tested positive for HPV16, and now just a few months later, she has cellular changes, which seems really fast.

I can’t help but feel responsible, even though I know HPV can be a tricky virus. I’m not sure how long I could have had it or if it’s possible she got it from someone before me. The timing of everything is making me question everything, and she’s already upset with me, accusing me of giving it to her.

How likely is it that I passed this on to her, given the timeline? And has anyone else gone through something similar, where you just feel this overwhelming guilt even when you don’t know for sure?

I just want to support her through this and I will no matter what, but I can’t stop feeling like everything she's going through is my fault.

Any advice or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.