How do I let go of this disorder? How do I move on with my life?

It’s been a year and 2 months, and i still just can’t let go and accept that I have this disorder. I can’t go back and change what I did. But part of me keeps holding on to the girl I was before all of this happened to me. I keep romanticizing the past and wishing I could go back to pre-HPPD me. Life in the future looks bleak. Even though I’ve accomplished so much during this past year, the future looks so scary. I want to just let go, but part of me keeps trying to hold on.

How can I make the most out of life even under my circumstances? How do you guys do it? I’m not looking for solutions on how to cure my disorder, I’m looking for solutions on how to accept and move on. I want to stop obsessing but it’s so hard sometimes. I cry everyday over these stupid visuals, but I think it’s more so my emotional attachment to my old self. I want her back. But I need to move on. It’s like I’m grieving my old self. Fuck