I’ve been doing my absolute best. I’m sober, I’m in therapy, I’m eating better, I’m exercising, I’m on Zoloft, I even quit caffeine and xanax. But everyday I feel like my HPPD gets worse. The visuals are really mild, but they get kinda bad at night. The worst symptom for me is derealization, and it’s bad. My whole mental state just feels so foggy and distorted. I can’t concentrate that well, i space out when people talk to me.

It’s just not fucking fair. I’m doing everything I possibly can to be better and I just keep experiencing setbacks. I just want to feel like myself again. I keep beating myself up for doing drugs and letting this happen to me. I just want to be sane again. I don’t even mind the visuals honestly I just want the fucking derealization to go away. I wish my friends understood what HPPD is because I feel like no one understands me except for this reddit page. My parents don’t know either. This is just getting really really frustrating. I just need some emotional support and advice. My mindset is just shit right now and I can’t change my perspective bc i feel so emotional