This may be a long post starting with my story. Skip/scroll to toward the end if you just want to know why I’m leaving the sub Reddit. (It’s labeled why I am leaving)

My Story: I am not new to mental health problems. I have been struggling with anxiety for a long time. I also struggled with some depression. I was on medication for a while for anxiety but eventually stopped taking it. Any way after more than a year of tackling anxiety I finally started seeing a therapist. And I made so much progress, she is great at her job. My parents and others around me started to see a lot of improvements. And I was waiting to get back to school this August and try and have a bounce back year after dealing with so bad of anxiety I frequently had to ask my mom to pick me up from school. I was very excited for this school year and was in the best place mentally that I’ve been in a very long time.

Then there came hocd. I don’t want to talk about what triggered it all. I started just having these thoughts that I knew were false but kept bothering me. Something just felt so off about them. Any how I started continua-sly testing myself with gay imagery and videos to make sure I wasn’t gay. And I did the same but with women to make sure I was attracted to them. Ofc I wasn’t attracted to men and was to women but these thoughts and doubts would not leave me alone they just kept coming. Until one day I had a bad panicked attack because of the thought I got while watching a male YouTuber. At the time I just called them nonsensical thoughts(did not know what intrusive thoughts or hocd was) and I called compulsions habits. Anyway I just kept making it worse by doing compulsions and battling thoughts. I finally found out what hocd was, and it did not get much better from there. Here I am 3 months later and still struggling. I opened up about it to my therapist and she never Judged me. Unfortunately she is not and ocd specialist and did not know what hocd was. But she recommended going on meds again and has helped me to the best of her ability’s and I think I’m meeting with a physiatrist soon.

I’ve cried and been depressed a lot over these 3 months I’ve had this. I was finally getting my life together then this happened.

Why I am leaving: I’m sure you’ve seen a similar post about someone leaving, I’m basically leaving because I think it is essential for my recovery. I can’t keep coming on here for reassurance, people venting, and triggering people’s horrible advice. I know it will be hard but I got to leave. I’ve been on the Reddit for about 1 1/2 months of the 3 I’ve been struggling with hocd. I would recommend if you’ve been on here for too long you leave as well.

I have met some amazing people on here. And I will be back to check on them with a dm. And I’ve also gotten great and helpful comments on my posts and on others. It’s not all bad on here regardless of what people may say

So I want to leave this off by thanking r/HOCD. Thank you to the whole community. Thank you to the mods and others who help keep this sub Reddit up. But most of all thank you for creating a space where I learnt that I am not alone in battling this. Again thank you so much.

With that being said it’s probably time for me to hop off. I’m gonna read comments to this post then dip. Hopefully the next post I put up is a full recovery post ♥️. I hope every single person on here the best. ✌️