I hope this doesn't come across as too braggy or anything. I honestly want to share my revelation. That I had stayed in my dead bedroom far too long. Made excuses for his behaviour, even though he showed me time and time again that he didn't care about my needs sexually (or otherwise).

We had been together for 8 years in total. The first 4 years were magical, and the final 4 were mostly awful with almost zero intimacy. He was moderately high libido at first and very very affectionate, but like all the others he changed (in this particular case it was very sad as external circumstances changed him, it was a stressful job that ruined our relationship).

Now I am single, free, and feel incredibly liberated. My hair has stopped falling out, my skin cleared up, I've got fully on top of my health/diet/exercise and I have the freedom to explore my sexuality with some new friends I've made (I have multiple friends-with-benefits, and I have finally been also able to explore my bi-curiosity). I recognise I am extremely lucky in that I don't get attached through sex as easily as other people, so I understand this isn't an option for everyone.

After being rejected for so long I felt like something was wrong with me. So when people I met give me compliments and found me desirable it was a shock. I realise the long term psychological damage my dead bedroom did to my mental health. It's intoxicating feeling desired again.

Sadly I think my high libido is a curse and not suited to relationships. In my experience men cannot sustain a high libido long term. There are exceptions of course, but I'm in my 40s and not interested in relationships/finding a long term partner (I am a very happy loner, childfree, don't cohabit anymore) so I'm sort of heavily invested in making my single life as amazing as it could be.

And today I'm so happy I cried. My new friends (both platonic and sexual) treat me with ten times more respect than my ex ever did, are more communicative, mature, and open minded about sex.

I feel so stupid. I've had 3 long term partners and 2 of them could not handle my libido long term. Only 1 matched my libido but he wasn't a nice person and I left him. I feel like I wasted so much time.

Life is incredibly short so if you're thinking of leaving, this might be a sign.