My partner said last night, amongst other things. It felt like 2 years worth of gut wrenching pain culminating in a single sentence. This what they had told me implicitly over the years, obviously I knew 1000000000% that sex falls much further down the priorities list for them than for me. Which is fine, but to hear them jab this at me just for the pain it would cause is unforgivable to me, unless they really showed they understand the weight of what it meant to me. Today they’re absolutely livid at me for “punishing them” for what they said — i.e., it’s been less than 24 hours and I’m not bright and bubbly again. They said because I’m acting “this way today” that I didn’t mean all the good stuff I said as we resolved the fight yesterday, all the work I want to do to better my end of our recurring conflict I was lying about. And I can understand that because I’m acting different it looks like I’m punishing them, and maybe I am a little bit, but also I am very very hurt? They said I’m a minefield and they didn’t know what they said was going to hurt me so much, but I can’t imagine how in a dynamic where me wanting more sex than them and being deeply ashamed about it for years, that they wouldn’t realize that saying “not everything in the world is about fucking you” would be hurtful.