My LLF partner never initiated with me, HLM, for years and years. I just didn't feel desirable.

I then lost 90 lbs and got fit and thought, surely now? Nope.

To be fair to her, there's some underlying health issues (though she isn't properly addressing them) which reduce libido. Still, I don't need to tell you all how much it hurts to not feel desired for years.

So I asked her if I could post nudes. She didn't understand it, but agreed. I've posted for months now.

This has made me feel desirable again, and I'm grateful. But while I enjoy the attention and feel validated, ultimately I want that from my spouse. I'm considering stopping, but I worry I'll just fall back into never feeling desired again.

I guess this is more venting than anything. I'm curious if anyone else seeks that validation from others.