I'll start with the tag. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. It's probably a vent, but I don't mind getting advice or anything. I guess I'm just not looking for it or looking to exclude anyone either. Thus, "LL participation is welcome".

This morning I've been the most intentionally brazen with my wife. I asked if she was available, and told her I needed her. She told me to go to work. I got a nicer kiss than usual on my way out. I can't tell if it was almost successful, or if I was just getting a pat on the head and sent away. I suppose I just go back to my plan to break contact until we can have The Conversation. It's been at least four months, maybe five, since she's last touched me or even really let me touch her. We've had dry spells before. It usually comes down to breaking out the love languages and changing up plays. It feels like we've past that point.

I've been trying. I've taken on more responsibilities around the house with the kids to give her more freedom. I've been pushing myself harder with my workouts. I've even tried explicitly being less sexual and more platonically expressive of love to her during the day. I still have to initiate. I still face constant rejection. Christmas Eve, we got the kids down early and did the Santa thing. I tried then, too. I swear she looked at me with something close to disgust. From that point, I decided to stop with her. I tried my best to not give her any play.

I tried to keep my back to her in bed to show my hurt feelings about all of it, but I wake up to her pushing me off of her. It's happened a few times, and I think/hope she knows I don't know what's happening.

So that's it. As a millennial, I'm nothing of an oversharer. I think that's what this has been. I appreciate your time and hope you have a good day!