I never ever thought I’d be the one in a boring sexless marriage. Same place, time, position, no oral etc etc. When it happens which is rare (1-2 times a month) it is literally like a chore. I would love to please and go down on her for her pleasure anytime and anywhere. I would love an enthusiastic blowjob which I have barely ever received in my life since we met young. I am missing out on so much intimacy and life is short it makes me sad. It’s messed up that I think about leaving when the kids are out of the house and find someone for the second half of my life who aligns with me and understands. Someone who would want to be sexy for me, someone who would allow me to make them feel sexy af, desired and given all the attention. I look damn good for my age (41) and even if I walk around naked in front of her not even a glance. Do other people feel like this? Life is too short.