I have no idea where to even begin.

My wife is almost a decade older than me. The frequency of sex started to wane after our first baby was born. We have two kids now and each year sex has been a struggle. We've averaged less than 12 times a year for the last four years and last year in particular, we only made love three times. So far this year we haven't done it yet. My hopes aren't high either for making up on lost time.

I just think our differences as people have really caught up with us. I'm a very physical person. She's not. She also has fibromyalgia so even an impromptu hug is basically off the table. And I don't even think she enjoys sex, I barely remember her ever orgasming during it. And other methods she doesn't even allow.

I refuse to accept a life where I don't have much sex. That's not living to me. That's prison. To be in a constant state of ... body hunger. It's just awful. So, I'm considering every alternative. Affairs, hand jobs at massage parlors, and yes, just simply ending the marriage.

How could she even want to stay married if we're not coming together physically often? I just can't fathom how this is good or "good enough" for anyone.