So my latest exposure through oral sex (he ejaculated in my mouth) the past 3 months ago. I got bad sore throat, tonsillitis, and fever a day after my exposure. At first, I did not worry about HIV because when I went to the doctor, they said it was a case of BACTERIAL infection (HIV is a virus, not bacteria) so I went ahead and took my antibiotics.

I also tested for HIV (fingerprick test) a month later but it was for my first exposures to oral sex, which came out non-reactive as I expected. Oral sex is rarely (like extremely rare) a risk for HIV, so I was good to go. But as the months passed for my test for this latest exposure, my anxiety got the best of me and so I thought negative stuff, that maybe I had HIV.

Going through that phase was hell. I searched everyday for HIV transmissions, what to do with HIV, etc. I wasn't worried about HIV management because ARVs can literally make me live normally. However, what I'm worried about is the stigma around HIV. Although my country has laws that protect HIV people and give accessible and free treatment for them, stigma is still sadly prevalent in our society.

So after 3 months from my latest exposure which is today, I decided to test again for HIV, and surprise! Once again, I was non-reactive. My anxiety literally vanished when I saw the results, and I thought that I can set this scary moment aside.

So, what are the lessons I've learned from this:

1. TEST, TEST, TEST FOR HIV! Even if you have symptoms or not, only an HIV test can determine if you have the virus. It doesn't care if you get sore throat, fevers, rashes, or stuff, so please TEST! There are 4th generation HIV tests that are conclusive at 45 days after exposure, and there are also free HIV tests that use fingerprick tests that are conclusive at 12 weeks/90 days/3 months.
2. ALWAYS TEST AT THE RIGHT TIME! I know we get really anxious if we have HIV, and it's really hard for us to wait for a result. However, if you don't wanna waste your time, money, and energy worrying, test at the right time! There are 4th generation HIV tests that are conclusive at 45 days after exposure, and there are also free HIV tests that use fingerprick tests that are conclusive at 12 weeks/90 days/3 months.
3. TRUST YOUR RESULTS! If you tested at the right time, trust your doctor and your results! If you still think that you may have HIV despite the conclusive negative/non-reactive results, go to a therapist for your anxiety.
4. PRACTICE SAFE SEX! If you are active, use condoms and be on PrEp. PrEp prevents you from getting HIV if you are sexually active. But still, use condoms and practice safe sex to prevent other STDs and STIs. As for oral sex, it's extremely low risk for HIV but not for other STDs. And if you are the one receiving it, no you won't get HIV.

I know HIV anxiety is very hard, but trust me, just test at the right time. Hugs!

If you still have other symptoms that you suspect is from your exposure, consider getting tested for other STDs like syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia.