I still remember the day that changed everything. The day that ended an age and began a new one. I remember the day that humanity stood in judgement.

I had just gotten home from work, it had been a long day. I unlocked the front door, set my lunchbox on the counter, and collapsed on my couch.

As I sat there, exhausted and decompressing, Mean Old Jack decided to grace me with his presence. Now, this was a rare thing, Jack was not a very social beast. But who could blame him? I found Jack on the side of the road a few years ago, bleeding and near death, half an ear gone, his tail mostly gone, missing an eye. Great patches of his orange coat were missing, and when I went to pick him up, he scratched the ever loving hell out of me.

“Tough old bastard, aren’t you?”

“Hisssssss!!!!”

“Shhhhh. I’m here to help.”

Anyone who has had a cat, can easily imagine the low, dangerous growl I got in response. The cat was half out of his mind in pain and fear, but he was also weak and dying. I went to the work truck and got a pair of my thick, leather electrical gloves, then grabbed the snarling murderbeast and put him on the passenger seat. A couple thousand dollars and a lengthy vet stay later, Jack was on the road to recovery.

Months later, I tried to let Jack go. I took him from the house and left him in the field where I found him. He ran off into the underbrush and I thought that was the end of it. I went off to run some errands, take care of some things, and when I got home, there he was on the porch, giving me a one eyed glare of pure exasperation. I unlocked the door and watched as he strolled imperially into the house.

I never did find out what happened to him, or how he came to be there. I can guess he was probably abused, because he didn’t like other people. When other men would come to the house, he would revert to a snarling, spitting, fluffed up ball of spite, rage and disdain. When I’d bring women home, he was somewhat nicer, but he’d still watch them like a hawk, then stare at me with judgement in his eyes, as if to say “even you can do better”.

Still, as the years passed, Mean Old Jack became an irreplaceable fixture in my home. Sure he was an ill natured, murderous, hateful old bastard, but he was MY ill natured, murderous, hateful old bastard. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

Then the aliens came. Massive, pyramid shaped ships, miles across, hovering over the cities of the world.

The news services went apeshit. Mass panic, riots, screaming. Everyone was terrified. For three days, the ships hung there, silent, unmoving.

It was as things were finally calming down that the aliens spoke, breaking into our transmissions to broadcast their message.

“Humans of Earth! We have watched your civilization in secret, from its earliest conception! Our agents have been living amongst you for millennia, guiding, observing, judging! Now, your fate hangs in the balance! We will hear the report of our senior agent. Come forth!”

It was then, to my shock, that Mean Old Jack picked himself off of his perch, dropped to the floor, and walked outside.

“The fuck? Jack, wait!”

He stopped for a second, his one eye filled with an emotion I had never seen there before. Pity. He meowed calmly, then turned and continued walking away.

The entire Earth watched as the aliens broadcast their agent returning to their ship.

Mau Imperial Dreadnaught Night Claw

The Captain sat on her throne in the receiving chamber, watching impassively as Imperial Inspection Agent Jaquarwl sauntered in. Her face didn’t even twitch, but The Captain was shocked to her core to see the scarred, mangled and grizzled countenance of her old friend. he had been so handsome when she had dropped him off on this world, so long ago. Now he looked like he’d been through a war zone.

Jaquarwl gave no indication that he was even aware of how he looked, strutting with the same, confident, cocksure walk he always had.

“Inspector, what have they done to you? I take it the humans have failed then?”

“No, Captain. I think not.”

“No? What is your judgment then?”

“The humans… are stupid. They possess a base cleverness, they’ve invented many toys that they use to destroy one another. They are a violent, brutish race, obsessed with possessing things, territorial to a fault, willing to defend the things that are theirs with overwhelming violence. In short, typical of primates the universe over.” He paused, licking his paw in thought.

“But, there’s more to them. For nothing more than mere tokens of affection, the occasional dead prey animal, and a song, they will open their homes to you, love you unconditionally, go to extreme lengths to care for you. Humans are not all always nice, as you can plainly see. But most of them are kind, and they keep their agreements.”