Throwaway account.

Male 27, TC 450k (self employed), SWE in Arlington VA.

My girlfriend (ivy league undergrad/MBA) is obsessed with getting a “real” engagement ring (25k-50k). She knows the reason why she wants one is marketing, but cannot move past that and refuses to consider anything other than a “natural” diamond (nothing lab grown). It’s not a question of if I can afford it, but if buying it is the right thing to do. She says there is a certain connotation of me not spending money on the ring which she would have to live with forever.

I’m more than happy to buy her the exact ring she prefers (that’s lab grown) for 1/3rd the price and spend the extra on travel, dining, making memories, anything else, hell if being cheap is the issue I’d give her cold hard cash with the lab grown right too. It’s not a money issue but a values issue.

In all fairness, she does not have an interest in expensive things outside of some jewelry. She’s happy with a modest car, modest apartment, etc. but cannot get past the idea of dropping a ton of money on a ring that actually has substantially less value the second it’s purchased.

I come from a middle class upbringing, I seldom buy things new, I have a different perspective on money and finance than she does. I don’t run my business this way. I’m struggling to adopt her mindset.

Chew me out if I’m being wrong, what’s the best way to approach this?