Hello. I guess this is a vent and I've seen so many posts that are so similar. I'm wondering if there's something in the water.

Myself (52M) and wife(47F) are in the early stages of divorce. We've split several times throughout our marriage. Sometimes I can say it was my fault, others hers, but according to her it's always mine and she's always the victim.

A few reasons for the past fights are:

I was selfish for buying myself dinner while working an evening shift. This resulted in several weeks apart likely with me apologizing.

I was trading tattoo work for musical instruments when business was slow in the thought of selling them or pawning them. Again several weeks being apart.

About 2 years ago, I had been texting with my bosses wife. Honestly just sharing inappropriate memes and talking about things that married people shouldn't be. BUT there was never any mention of trying to have an affair or anything like that. We split for several months. I told her she was absolutely right to be angry and that it was stupid and inappropriate on my part. But that if it was an affair she was worried about, she was incorrect. A couple of months later she was being irritable and angry all the time (which is her personality most of the time) and when I called her out she brought the chatting thing back up as her reason for leaving.

Fast forward 2 years. We worked it out, to my knowledge and the deal was if she ever felt weird about it (or anything else) we'd talk it out. I've always been able to tell when one of these types of fights were brewing and had been feeling it lately. So, her and my son were in some kind of texting argument and she proceeded to tell her he was selfish LIKE ME and that I've never done anything for anybody else but myself. I was floored that she said this behind my back, when we weren't even having issues. So, to my mistake, I called her out about this, and now I'm the asshole and it's time for a divorce.

I'm not perfect and I'm pretty self aware of my flaws. But she literally accused me of being on drugs these last two fights. She won't listen to facts and has said some of the most off the wall shit to make herself the "winner".

I do love her, but at this point I feel like trying to fix things is only prolonging the next fallout, and is likely fear of change and loneliness. Thanks for reading if you got this far.