34M here.

The title says it all, but I feel like it's just me, so I guess I'll elaborate.

I have spent the vast majority of my life learning tough lessons. I've learned from a handful of failed relationships that I must always accept the lion's share of blame, as it's often my fault. Forget that I have no sources from which to take advice--I should automatically know how to do relationships innately.

I learned from an early age that any failure is entirely my fault, that I should just know or remember all the answers. Any product that is less than perfect must be corrected.

I learned from my church-going years and extended "family" that atonement and forgiveness must come from the aggrieved party, that only they can absolve you, that you are entirely beholden to the whims of those you've wronged.

I've learned, from trying to be social or professional in adulthood, you should automatically know how to people, that this is an innate trait that every human ought to be born with.

I've learned--from observation, from lurking on different subs, from peers, from feedback implied and intimated--that I'm missing the things that make me a functional social being.

I feel guilty of my own existence because there is some manual to existence that, through what must be my fault and my fault alone, I don't have and/or can't access. Therapy hasn't helped over these last 8-or-so years since I started going. Friends haven't given me much in the way of advice other than the "stop feeling guilty" bit or general reassurances.

There seems to be no way to assuage the guilt I feel for simply daring to be among people, among the world amd its citizens.

...What is there left to do?