Okay, so I know there’s been a lot of tense discussion about the Darkling recently, but this is just a light-hearted post about how I personally saw the Darkling while reading the books, please don’t come after me. This is probably going to get a lot of downvotes, but just to be clear: This isn’t meant to mock or invalidate any Darkling stans, this is just my personal opinion, meant to be humorous. Sending love to all the Darkling stans, you guys don’t have to justify why you like him, fiction is meant to be enjoyed <3.

So let me just start off by saying that Show!Darkling was actually scary, like convincingly scary to some extent. Ben Barnes portrays him as someone who can actually lead armies and someone you shouldn’t mess with. I actually really liked the fact that the Darkling was given General Kirigan as an alternate name. “Darkling” just makes me think of duckling. When the casting was announced, the first thing I thought of was Ben Barnes as a half-duck, half-person, waddling around lmao. I’m sorry, that’s a cursed thought.

In the books, however, the Darking can be interpreted in so many different ways, which is probably why he is so controversial. I personally cannot figure out whether he actually likes Alina or whether his concern was feigned, I just alternate between the two, I guess. Sometimes he acts like an emotionally-constipated, dramatic-ass pasty white boy. Other times he seems like a cranky old man who just wants to be left alone to feed the birds. Sometimes he seems to be manipulating others to get what he wants, other times he acts just as dumb as Alina.

Anyway, when I first read Shadow and Bone, I wasn’t impressed with him at all. I was just indifferent towards him. Shadow Summoner? Pfft. Any broke peasant can turn down the lamps, you’re not special, dude. In the show, his powers seem threatening because he can actually suffocate people with darkness, but in the books his powers seem kind of useless until he uses merzost. WEAK. He literally had to break the rules of the Small Science to gain some actual power. Before that, the most he could do was perform light/shadow tricks with Ms. Starkov. There's the Cut, of course, but idk if that's enough against a large group of people.

Also, he just kind of mysteriously appears and disappears throughout the first book. Does he have some sort of retreat, a man cave, perhaps? He’s always supposed to be busy, but it’s never really specified what he’s doing. What hobbies does he have? Playing hopscotch? Twerking? He can’t be sitting around brooding all the time, right?

Also, some of his quotes are kind of cringe. Some are good, but others... meh.

“The problem with wanting," he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, "is that it makes us weak.”

What kind of noah centineo tweet is this? Totally not contradictory to say that while making out with a girl. Just accept the fact that you’re horny and move on, man.

The Darkling slumped back in his chair. “Fine,” he said with a weary shrug. “Make me your villain.”

I liked the context in which it was used in the show, it sounds good. In the books, he says it in a tired way, like “Boohoo, poor me.” Subtly shifting the blame to Alina, I see what you did there, Aleks. But honestly, why is he so extra? I can definitely imagine him rehearsing this line in front of the mirror. “Should I clutch my heart dramatically while saying this? Nah, too needy. Should I slowly rub my temple? Don’t wanna seem desperate. A slow-mo hair flip? A suave shrug should do it, yes. I need to give off the nonchalant fuckboi vibes.”

“I've been waiting for you a long time, Alina." He said. "You and I are going to change the world.”

Oh mY, how deep. Yes, Alina, he’s been waiting for you for decades because he is absolutely clueless about what he should do. Couldn’t even overthrow the King, who is lazy af and doesn’t even lift a finger. Come on, Darkles, if you’re really strategic, you would’ve found a way to gain power without a Sun Summoner. You could’ve manipulated the king and used him as a puppet, but noooo. All you did was attend the balls by dressing in black like for some funeral and sticking out like a sore thumb, standing awkwardly in some corner. Please. What a mediocre villain.

“Black is his color.” - Genya

Not sure if this exact quote was in the books, but it was in the show. Of course he has a special color for himself, along with the eclipse symbol and a mysterious name, probably some customized T-shirts under his bed speaking of his glory. He's got the whole aesthetic planned. Darkles, honey, you did not invent the color black. As the great philosopher withCindy of Youtube once said, “This isn’t Hot Topic.”

“Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark?”

Ngl, this quote obliterated Mal. It’s so hard to imagine the Darkling lived for centuries sometimes, he’s really petty. And now that Mal’s here, he’s jEaLoUs. You’d think that a centuries-old guy would be pretty self-confident and not insecure, but whenever Mal’s around, he just seems like he views Mal as competition or something and turns kind of angry. He threatens to kill Mal so Alina would comply at the end of S&B, but I wonder if he feels threatened by Mal in some way?

“I've seen what you truly are," said the Darkling, "and I've never turned away. I never will. Can he say the same?”

This would be a nice quote if Alina actually had a personality. No, I don’t know what she’s truly like even though I’ve been in her head for three whole books. I want to like her, but she can be blander than stale bread sometimes.

“You live in a single moment. I live in a thousand.”

Again with all these quotes. I imagine he must have sat down and wrote all the vaguely deep and nostalgic lines he could think of on paper and memorize them in his free time for when he meets Alina again. He’s trying way too hard, but I appreciate the effort.

“Why waste my anger on you when the fault is mine? I should have anticipated another betrayal from you, one more mad grasp at some kind of childish ideal. But I seem to be a victim of my own wishes where you are concerned.” His expression hardened. “What have you come here for, Alina?”

Again, the self-pity is starting to get annoying. He's really whiny and desperate for attention in the books. "Look at me, I'm so traumatized! Do you even know what I've gone through, Alina?" It’s hard to tell whether he actually likes Alina or whether he just wants to use her, I’m getting so many mixed signals. I feel like it’s a combination of both, like he wants free love but also undying loyalty, but he’ll still withhold information from her. That’s not how relationships work, but okay. I really do sympathize with the Darkling sometimes because didn’t choose this life of hiding his powers and being immortal, but I don’t feel comfortable excusing his actions either. Him wanting to protect Grisha isn’t a bad thing at all, but not at the expense of the otkazat’sya, many of whom are innocent. I get that many non-Grisha are hunting the Grisha down, but making all the otkazat’sya subordinate to the Grisha isn’t the best option either.

“I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but mine.”

Flirting 101. This is how you do it, folks. THREATEN her. The Darkling talks more instead of actually doing things. Do something badass and then maybe I’ll believe that you are, Darkles.

“We are alike,” he said, “as no one else is, as no one else will ever be.”

So conveniently ignoring the fact that your mom has the same powers as you. Not to mention the vast variety of other Grisha who also lead long lives, like Elizaveta and Jurian. KoS spoiler: He even knew them. Sometimes the Darkling’s feelings seem genuine, but this was a clear lie.

This guy’s scheming skills are worse than a 17-year-old thief with a supposedly bad haircut. The aforementioned thief also has better quotes, fight me. Not to mention that said thief figured out Sturmhond’s true identity faster than Darkles could say, “I am so powerful…” blah blah blah. Also, Nikolai SHOT him and GOT AWAY WITH IT. Come on, man, show some spine. He blabbers on about how he’s gonna torture all his enemies and stuff, except he only ended up torturing Genya, who was innocent and never harmed him anyway. She was stuck in an awful position, but instead of utilizing her Tailoring skills to maybe disguise himself and get some shit done and overpower Alina, he tortured my girl. Not only is it a dumb decision, it’s an awful thing to do. He may treat Alina like a queen if she joins him, but anyone who goes against him will be destroyed.

Then there’s the standard Villain Monologue™, where he vomits out his entire plan in front of Alina, who is so naive that she probably wouldn’t have been able to guess what he was going to do with the Fold. Great, now he just revealed his entire plan to her. Of course she managed to stop him.

Throughout the entire series, he’s pretty incompetent. Come on, he failed to defeat the Sun Queen, who doesn’t even act like a queen, and her blade boyfriend, who isn’t even Grisha. He could’ve easily won, but nope. He makes some pretty questionable decisions which make me wonder whether he just became the General of the Second Army by fluke. Show!Darkling looks menacing, but Book!Darkling comes across as a kitten trying to be frightening. Even if Show!Darkling was written as a more sympathetic character, I could actually take him seriously (confession: I laughed when I saw him with the long hair and weird robe in his flashback.) Book!Darkling was just a reedy, pale boy who hasn't been out in the sun for ages, lurking in his cave or something, maybe pining/hating on Alina and moping around.

The Darkling has the upper hand in every way, with armies at his command and the nicheo'vya, but this guy still lost. He only appeared in Mal’s form and at the end in S&S. Again, there’s no hustle. He was biding his time in Fjerda doing god knows what. Maybe he was just sitting and thinking about how to unnerve Alina. Now that I think about it, he's obsessed with Alina. Alina this, Alina that, Ms. Starkov, Alina Starkov, Sun Summoner, Mapmaker... Get a life, dude.

Even though he manages to get the throne, it’s a close one. I get the feeling that he's actually winging it, trying to get Alina to join him but failing. Didn't he have, I dunno, a back-up plan? This whole expanding the fold thing is poorly thought-out on his part. He seems intimidating, but I bet he's just doing things spontaneously.

I get that Alina was supposed to be his bAlAnCe or whatever, but both of them are dumbasses, how are they going to rule the world?

In other words, I was never truly afraid of him. He seemed only like a pretty boy with no concrete plans. Harsh judgement, I know, but he is a complex character with unclear motivations. Whatever they may be, he didn't seem like the mastermind or the powerful guy to me.