I’ve never lost anyone that close to me before. My uncle passed alone at the hospital. He was already sick but it still hurt. I think about the funeral a lot. How heartbroken my dad was. How my grandmother who is 92 couldn’t even remember why we were there in the first place. I still can’t forget seeing my dad break down and cry. I still can’t forget the sound my grandma made when we told her. We still have to remind her now and then that he’s gone. Seeing her heart break each time is hard. I can’t help but cry and feel sad for my dad. Who just lost his brother and now has to relive it every other day because his mom forgets and is slowly going too. Then about 2 weeks later a friend of mine dies in a murder suicide. She was so close to my family that she would call my dad her dad too. She left three kids. I think about how that affected my dad too. Just thinking about everything makes me sad. I feel like I bottle all this up and push it down but then I think other people have it worse and I’m being to soft. I don’t know but grieving sucks.