I think to myself that maybe it’s because you were so special, that the day you were born was also the day you passed. It would be your 90th birthday today and I wish we got to experience that as a family. Maybe one day, changing seasons from summer to fall won’t be a sad reminder for me, but will be another special way to remember you.

After a week of being in palliative care, we didn’t know how long you’d continue to hold on. I remember buying balloons for you that morning thinking “surely his birthday won’t be the day he passes” and thinking maybe we would have another day. Later that evening when my grandmother went home for dinner, around 6pm, he passed. I remember my mom getting the phone call and being the first to console her.

I remember the day, and week, leading up to it so vividly. Some days it feels like it never happened and some days the grief is overwhelming as if it happened yesterday.