My dad died on November 17 of last year, a week after having heart bypass surgery that was supposed to give him a lot more time with me. I had moved back in with him two years prior, and my employer went out of business in April 2020, so the idea was that I would wait out the pandemic and help him as much as I can until things cleared up and then I would attempt to go do my own thing again.

Looking back, that time given to me would be the last bit of time we would have together.

I finally accepted a job offer which will have me move, even though it's less than an hour away. I didn't expect it to affect me this much. We moved into this apartment in June 2002, and though I would spend time away, this was my dad's home for that entire time. Our moving here even predates current ownership. There's so many memories, so much security in this place. There's never been a point in my time as an adult where, wherever I was, I could always visit here, or move back in if I was struggling.

I don't feel happy about my job right now. All I want is it to be last summer where my dad was here and I felt safe and normal. I still can't fathom that I have a whole entire life to lead without him here.

I just want him here.