My dad passed away two months ago. We were close, and I was dealing pretty well until about a week ago. He lived in Washington with my mom (married 32 years), and I lived in Tennessee. When he died, I knew I couldn’t leave my mom alone, so I moved to a very isolated town in Washington, leaving all of my close friends and support system behind in Tennessee.

My devastation has been kind of obscured by everything I’ve been helping my mom with—bills, cleaning up, constant runs to Goodwill, grocery shopping for us, etc etc. But a week ago, it seems like everything hit me, and I’ve been battling intense suicidal ideation ever since. I lost the person who loved me and believed in me the most. I lost a home in Tennessee that I loved. I lost all of my friends and social connections. My only reason for living is knowing that my mom needs me, in a purely utilitarian sense.

I know I have to keep going, but life in its current state is unbearable. How do I cope?