My wife, was my life I adored her in every possible way, we met when I was 22 and she 32, world of warcraft was her raid leader, we got to know each other, one thing led to another and boom to cut the story short we met and got married.

10 years later, 32 and 42, after so much effort to be together, she was in america I was in Australia. Her daughter (26) died during a PT exercise for her army job in hawaii. She lived after resuscitation, had a diflibulator out in her heart, lost some memory and needed someone to help her out for a while.

Mom/wife went to hawaii ( Feb 2018 ) to to help and care for her, left myself and my daughter (12) back in Australia, we didnt hold it against her at all, we knew she needed to be there for her. I kept working in Australia, wife got a job in hawaii, and cared for her daughter. Wasn't much time for "us" anymore. Sacrifices.

After about 1 year, decided that we would all move to hawaii and be together, ( january 2019 ) My daughter would come at the end of the school year in Australia ( december ) and we'd make a life in hawaii.

February 2019 - wifes been sick, " pinched nerve in left arm " since January, after it gets worse and runs down into her leg, we go see a dr, I've tried forcing her to a doc many times before this, shes stubborn.

Feb 27, 2019. Dr visit goes as bad as we expected ( we thinking stroke ) rushed to emergency room as soon as the pcp saw her, MRI/CT. 5mm tumor in her brain, operated, got rid of half of it. Rest will go with gamma knife radiation. All is well, arm and leg are getting use back.

Dr comes in, bad news, not brain cancer. Lung cancer, stage 4, moved to brain. Pushforword a few weeks, pet scans, cts, mris etc. Oncology report is stage 4 lung. Curable. Fucking what???? Sad but sweet.

Take all the radiation for brain, and move onto lung, surgeon is a bit hesitant to operate, go to OHSU for 2nd opinion, no worries we will operate and get it out. Easy.

Move to oregon, ohsu order test after test, lung strength, mris, cts, new pet etc. Consult with neurosurgeon again for check up.

Tumor has grown back, no worries he can use " brain mapping " and get 100% of tumor out, then we only have to worry about the lung.

Its july now, wifes had lung cancer, stage 4 for 5 months, more if we include the time it obviously took to grow, no one has touched the lung yet.

Another brain surgery, get rid of 99% of tumor wahoooooooooo. We are going good. Send my wife to rio legacy for rehabilitation on her arm and leg.

Wife gets staff infection at rio, sent back to ohsu, 3rd brain surgery, remove the bone from the orginal surgeries as its infected. Its August now, about the 10th, wifes still in hospital on antibiotics of 6 different kinds trying to find the most effective.

Been in hospital since july 6th, its August 14, DVT in legs from being in hospital for so long and not much movement, take her down to intensive care unit, put her on heparin, vitals keep dropping, tell the nurses to make the beeping stop so she can get some fucking rest.

Team of drs and nurses come in, explain the situation, your wife isn't leaving this hospital alive. August 17th now, our 10 year anniversary is August 19th.

My wife dies, 17th August, 4:11pm, her last words, " I cant leave him " " Anthony, help me "

I love you babe, so much. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you, I believe I tried. I hope you can forgive me.

I para phrased this cause the full story would be half a book long.

I'm in so much pain, I miss her so much. I feel her pain everyday and how scared she must have been and how scared she is right now.

Thank you for reading, her name was Melissa.