Hello Reddit. I did a search for a local group but couldn't find anything that fit my bill so I'll come to you guys for now. Two years ago I lost my father. I was 29 and it was the worst day I'd ever lived in my life. I woke up the day before Thanksgiving and found him blue and cold on the couch. I proceeded to snap into trying to save him and yelled for my Mom or GF to call 911. Soon as I touched him my logical side knew he was gone. I worked on him for what seemed like hours but in reality was only 7 minutes. At that point I became the head of my family. My mom is a wonderful woman but she would be lost without someone to guide her. My brother is the same way. So I stood up and took leadership of my family. Unfortunately, it never gave me time to grieve properly. 3 months after my father, I lost my grandmother. After that I decided I was going to follow my dream and move to Texas. I've lost all my friends, a stable 4.5 year relationship(even though it was her dream as well) and my job. Everything has been bottling up inside of me for a while and it's finally popped. I'm no longer the happy, fun person I used to be. I've been doing things while this came to a head that I never would have done before. I became clingy and hostile towards people I cared about. I've been depressed as much as I didn't want to admit it I have. I recently just lost a person I considered to be a very good friend over it. I hope one day to explain why and what has been going on in my life. But, for so long I've denied it myself. I get nightmares reliving the death of my father, insomnia for sometimes up to 4 days and lately I haven't been eating. I hope I've caught this in time before it's changed me forever. I'm working on getting myself back to me, if anyone has any advice or direction I could use it. Thank you.