My grief isn't new. My baby would be 15 if he had lived beyond a week. He was at the ped not 24 hours prior to passing. We asked if his breathing was normal idk how many times and were reassured that he was fine. He was not. Our OB never informed us of the risk vaginal birth posed given our HSV status. We have two healthy children now (divorced) that prove the solution is simple.

My youngest is 6. She has asthma, but it's been really difficult to get the doctors to do anything about it. We were prescribed a rescue inhaler that has worked sometimes. This morning it didn't, so off to urgent care we went. She has been to urgent care/ER for this problem at least 8 times. They finally prescribed her a nebulizer and told me to treat her every 4 hours as symptoms persist. Cool. Except it's LABOR DAY-- FEW PHARMACIES AND ZERO MEDICAL SUPPLY PLACES ARE OPEN...

I'm positive I'm overreacting, but I don't know how not to. Everyone I've spoken to today has made that abundantly clear. But what nobody understands is that this is the EXACT way I was treated directly before my son died.

I know the anxiety and rage will subside, but I really want to meet people I can lean on in these moments. My ex-wife and I are not on great terms and nobody in my life other than her really gets what it's like to feel so desperate to make sure I never let a child die again. I know its dramatic to say that, but my skin is crawling right now and that's quite honestly how I feel.