I’m a freshman in college, and I met a girl during my spring semester. We matched on hinge and eventually ran into each other at our uni’s music club. We planned a date but I got so nervous I cancelled. We planned to reschedule because we had exams soon, and we would text sometimes about her band, or “how was your days?”. When the semester ended, we briefly talked about what we’d do in the fall semester! Ex; music club. She died 5 days ago. I found out yesterday as I scrolled through Instagram and saw her best friend post a caption “maria, I can’t believe you’re gone….” I feel immense grief and in a way guilt for cancelling plans with her and thinking about how things could’ve been, thinking of all the hopes and dreams she had. She had a concert in 2 weeks. I can’t stop randomly getting images of her while I’m out or doing something, and then I just wanna cry so bad. It’s currently 5:55 am and I’m thinking of her and crying. I feel like I don’t deserve to be this affected because we didn’t speak regularly and had only briefly talked in person. I feel like I’m faking it.