I’m not necessarily searching for advice, but I’m not opposed to it. Today was unnecessarily hard, my step dad was kinda mean to me today and it REALLY sent me spiraling. My dad died end of January, and I just couldn’t pull myself together for the better half of today.

I don’t really know what else to say, I just feel frustrated that no one is on my side. I felt like my step dad was the only one who loves me but he’s been kinda a jerk lately. I’m kinda done in overindulging to make myself feel better. I ended up eating so much just to bounce back, and the worst part is that I think it kinda worked to make me feel better. I’m just kinda done with nothing feeling real. The only thing that really feels real is good and I’m stuck between not eating and overeating. I feel like I know exactly what to do to make me feel better for a small amount of time but I just want to give into bad habits to feel alive again. I won’t… but the fact that something so minor hurt me so bad is embarrassing.

This was a confused mess of a post. Sorry.