It’s hard to not think about all the negative like me not being able to give her the life she deserves and her not having the experience of seeing me married or ever having a grandchild as I’m only 20 right now. I’m shakily a tuff kid but I can’t help going back and forth through being strong and crying. I’ve always been a mamas boy so to come and see her hooked up to a machine and not being able to speak to her as she lost her voice a couple days ago is so heart wrenching. I know this ain’t how she wanted to be and was honestly tired of being constrained to a bed and it’s selfish but I love my mama. Sorry I had to voice this somewhere.