I posted here some days ago about my mother’s passing.

I cried. I’ve grieved especially after I finished all the paperwork. Now I feel nothing. If anything I feel free and it’s strange.

I feel like something is wrong with me. Like, I’m a psychopath or something. My life is slowly continuing forward again, but I do feel it physically ( like depression: lethargy, loss of motivation, exhaustion) and I feel anxiety. But overall, idk how I’m handling it too well. I’m planning on doing therapy sessions soon through my workplace.

It will probably hit me during the services. I miss her. I miss her voice. I miss her love. I think and think of how her existence is gone from this world, my life and I feel head spiral and spin that I’ll never see or hear her again. But at the same time, I feel…nothing. I feel peace but I don’t feel the pain from days ago when I broke down so hard.

What if I’m going mad?