My mom died 4 years ago on March 4th. She was my best friend. I have some degree of aphantasia, which means I’m almost entirely unable to visualize in my head. When I try, it’s like looking through a staticky opaque window. I can’t visualize at all. Tonight I was showing my 2 year old photos of my mom, her grandmother. My mom and dad were gone before I had her so she’ll only know her grandparents through stories and photos. As I was looking at photos of my mom I realized I have started to forget little things about her face. And that makes me so sad. I’m glad i have photos to look back on but I hate that my mind is losing her. Her memory is becoming abstract and I’ve never wanted to be normal so badly in my life. I wish I could visualize in my mind. I don’t want to forget her face.