It’s been almost one year since I lost my sister to cancer. We grew up together and then I moved to Canada in my early twenties. We were very different and not always that close but loved each other very much. This whole year has felt like a nightmare , depression , anxiety , dissociating , using vices , suicide attempt . I know grief is not something someone gets over or moves on from but I just need someone to tell me I will feel less insane at some point. . Nothing brings me joy like it used to and I feel like a completely different person. At the end she told me she didn’t want me to be sad and to live, do all the things I loved and be happy. But I can’t seem to do that