She was 28 I am 31

We've been together for five years, she loved to make Mexican food and dance. She wanted to be a mother more than anything in life and I said I wanted to wait until I saved more money. Now she's gone and she will never get a chance to be the wonderful mother I know she would be.

She was so supportive of all my dreams and was there for me every moment when I struggled with my bipolar.

I just talk to her hoping she can hear me, I don't believe in god but I want to talk to her and I'm struggling with what I believe and what I want to believe. I never thought something like this could happen to us

I won't hurt myself that would dishonor her wishes

Thank you for the message, when her uncle and cousins passed away last December she told me if anything ever happened to her she would want me to try and be happy and live the best life I can and wouldn't want me to hurt myself but i can't help but think that the best part of me is gone and I want to be with her. The person that was my rock and helped me to grow as a person is never coming back and I don't want to do this without her.

Thank you, every little thing reminds me of her. I find myself smelling her clothes and hugging her pillow relentlessly. My dogs know something is wrong and are wondering where she is, I don't ever want to be happy again it feels like I would be dishonoring her memory and how happy she made me by even hoping to be able to smile again

This is really comforting, I started a book on grief today and a lot of this mirrors what I'm learning