Based on my research and reading other's experiences, there seems to be 4 layers to our sexuality; sex drive/libido, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and carnal/sexual attitudes. All of these interact together to give us our own unique code as each of these are on a spectrum as well. Let's dive on in. 1) Libido - based off of hormones. It's best described a hunger that can be taken care of on your own or with another person. There is also amplitude with this one referring to how strongly that drive feels. For some, they HAVE to do something about it or it will reck their day. No productivity, inappropriate behaviors, and sometimes pain. For others, they may not even notice it or it can be ignored as it's weak. 2) Sexual Attraction - whom you want to have sex with. This involves genders, conditions, or the lack thereof. This is where you typically see homosexual, heterosexual, pansexual, bisexual, gynosexual, ageosexual, demisexual, cupiosexual, etc. There's also a frequency to sexual attraction. Some of us experience it more frequently than others. A few months ago I was experiencing it more frequently but now, not so much. 3) Romantic Attraction - The reason I included this is because romance and sex can go hand in hand. There's also biromantic people who only want to have sex with one gender. This can impact relationships and whom you choose to pursue with or without the expectation of sex. From talking with Aromantic people, they can form similar relationships but the intent is different. They may want to pursue a Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR) with someone that can be like a romantic bond and include some elements of intimacy or romantic relationships but they aren't experiencing romantic attraction. I'm still a little fuzzy about it and the differences but I'm guessing that's how Allos feel about our asexual side. 4) Carnal Attitudes - This spectrum refers to how we personally feel about ourselves having sex. There are three common labels used and that's sex-positive/favourable, sex-neutral, and sex-repulsed/negative. If you like engaging in sex then you are sex-positive. If you just don't want to experience sex or didn't like it, you are probably sex-negative. Not repulsed by it but just feel negatively about you getting involved. These are commonly discussed in the Ace community but they apply outside the community as well. You can experience sexual attraction and feel neutral to sex in general. There can also be some more specific negativity regarding types of sex as well. Some may be repulsed by penetration while others may be repulsed to all of it.

But what does that all mean for me? Am I Grey-Ace? Greysexuality is an umbrella term that covers sexual drive, attraction, and carnal. Greyromantic covers the romantic part. The following would "qualify" you for being a Grey-Ace: - Having a low sex drive (falls under several definitions of greysexuality) - Having a sex drive that isn't enough to act on - Not experiencing sexual attraction - Experiencing sexual attraction infrequently - Needing certain conditions present in order to feel sexual attraction - Having a disconnect between attraction and libido - Having a neutral, negative, or repulsion to yourself engaging in sex.

Important caveat - trauma has no say in whether you "qualify" to be a Grey-Ace. Only a qualified mental health professional can tell you if what you are experiencing is a trauma response or not. Most Grey-Aces will not care if it's a result of trauma response or not.

Also, only YOU can decide if you fit the label and want to pick it up. Nobody else gets to decide that for you.Nobody. It's your sexuality. Nobody can give it to you or take it away.

Finally, your feelings are valid. You are valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Much Love, ~ Corgi

P. S. Sorry for bad formatting. I'm on mobile.