So a little background: I (37F) met this guy (35M) online through a social club. When I first spoke to him I thought he was really charming, and we are becoming pretty good friends. He was super flirty with me and on top of it all I just thought he was cute.

He is quite flirty with me, and he's said some things to me in public that were heavy with innuendo and made me turn to jelly. I've gotten to know him quite a bit better, and I've developed a little bit of a crush on him. I myself am someone who needs to feel a lot of safety with a person to have romantic feelings, and he's the first person I've met in quite a while who makes me feel really gushy.

When we first met he told me he was grey ace and pan. I didn't really understand what that was at first, but after some reading I feel I understand a little. Now I'm faced with a bit of a conundrum because I do actually care about this person. I've asked for advice from other people I know. Some have said maybe I should tell them and be upfront, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable. The others I've asked have just said, no don't do anything. If I'm obvious about having a crush and say nothing, I'm worried I may make him uncomfortable anyway.

I can be mature and open minded about this, and ultimately I would value friendship with this person above all else. I want to explore being as close to this person as he would consent to, but since I have very little experience with what gray ace actually means, I would appreciate perspectives from people who experience grey asexuality.

TLDR; I met a grey ace pan person who's a good friend but I caught some romantic feelings. Do I say something to them or keep it to myself? Friendship and having this person in my life to any degree is most important.