So obviously this is a new sub so i figured id share my struggles with this terrible addiction.

I was 12 yrs old when i first started watching porn as any curious, hormone raging, going through puberty kid would. I thought nothing of it and just did my thing. It was nightly, like a regular person. Some days w porn some days without. As i progressed, i started watching “weirder” content. Celeb trans fakes, cartoon fakes, actual trans and gay porn etc etc. My parents were in the middle of arguing and a divorce around the same time. What started from pleasure turned into coping, a way to make me feel happy. By the time i was 16, i had fallen into sissification hypno, captions etc. After that, covid hit by 20-21. Thats when everything really got bad. I would crossdress, post nudes online, dressed up and doing things for people online. The attention was nice, i have an addictive personality and i have bipolar and adhd. It’s now to the point where im into stuff that i shouldnt be, that i wouldnt normally watch. Spending hours on end after work just jerking off and sending porn to other people. I had jerked off at work, at home, in restaurants, anywhere to get my fix. My dick is bruised, i’m cut, i’m scarred. I used a toy that was way too tight and i now have a bump around my shaft that wont go away. I cannot stop it at all and ive almost gotten to the point of accepting that this is who i am. That i dont need real women and all i need is fake toys and pixels. Every time i relapse, i feel the shame and hate, i say “this time, this is the last one.” I am actively self harming by staying in this cycle but my brain loves the dopamine. If i could go back in time, id undo stumbling across and posting pictures. I cannot tell anyone what ive done beyond here and my therapist.

I wish i could tell others never watch porn. I am non stop struggling and i wish everyone here a good recovery.