i'd hoped to finish & put this out at the end of last june, but tendonitis and life in general had other plans. so now i present a pride month audio well into a different deadly-sin-themed month (what are we on now, gluttony? sloth? i swear i paid attention in sunday school), hoping that people will view this kinda like how you don't have to wait until a full moon to listen to a werewolf audio, yk? i mean, if you do, power to you, commit to the bit! but it's not june anymore, and here we are.

so there's this guy, right. he has The worst pickup line you've ever heard, and didn't even do it right. he's just your type, though—or at the very least you're curious—so you humor him and hope that he knows what your keys and bandanna mean. people remember that kind of thing more during pride month, right? right.

def hedges around the D part of dilf, but consider: who else but a dorky dad has super old candy in their glove compartment & has never taken an uber (bc they typically can't accommodate several carseats)? anyway this nerd-ass glasses-wearing mfer is the embodiment of the bashful emoji and you're just watching him dig himself deeper and get progressively tipsier while you try not to laugh bc he's cute but So bad at this

listener came prepared, which could mean either they're simply lubed up and/or wearing a plug, or it could mean that the speaker just throated a pack-n-play strap and got so into it that he forgot listener has further bits. which has been known to happen! i've definitely done that lol

terminology used: cock, good boy, mention of tightness due to position (rather than the implication that tense/underprepared is better), hot/gorgeous

also, i think this is my name reveal! hi :)

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the sole performer (of the horny parts) & all characters depicted/implied are over the age of 21; crowd snippets were gleaned from several free-to-use sources, and have also been altered to obfuscate stock footage actors' irl voices.

note for sober listeners: this audio begins in the bar of a nightclub; the speaker is lightly tipsy & the listener has some kind of beverage, which is also assumed to be alcohol. if this is something you avoid, you can just skip ahead to scene II (~14m53s)!

there are two versions of this: one for people who want a realistically-noisy immersive experience, & one for people who can't hear/concentrate for beans (there's still background atmosphere, just much softer by comparison, & sfx are the same). both have stereo effects that require either stereo headphones or playing as mono to be able to hear everything!

i'm here, and you're here, and i wanted to ask if i could buy you a drink. but... y-yes, i'm getting there—you already clearly have a drink, so...

🔊 immersive version

🦻accessibility version

i hope you enjoy the scene and yourself! ♡