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It doesn't really matter what I'm doing as long as I'm productive.
Otherwise existential dread kicks in (for a variety of reasons, likely related to dissociation more than anything).
I know it's not the healthiest but it's the only time I feel engaged or present.
I could write a book, build an application,make a silly project, or work on something for my job, it's all the same. I just need to be occupy my brain or pain and loneliness sets in 😁
I'm the total opposite. I can be highly productive but it's a strictly pragmatic endeavour. My natural state is a slacker hedonist who loves to yap, think, research, speculate, philosophise, hang out, chillax, eat and smoke weed and pursue cheap thrills, good vibes, and meaningful interpersonal connections. It's kind of all I want to do in life.
Working and essential life administration and healthcare practices are about all I can muster, productivity wise. I have naturally low physical energy levels (my brain is another story, it won't calm down) and I try to focus on rest and enjoying life when I'm not working unless it's absolutely necessary. On the other hand, all the endless laying about and thinking has helped me become very comfortable confronting uncomfortable realities, about myself, the world, and the people around me.
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