I'm 32M, gay, immigrant, currently in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD and autism.

School was easy and I didn't care much about it, but had 3 attempts at university which I usually failed because of self-discipline and fitting-in problems. Funny enough I moved country and finally finished very good art uni with top marks. But I couldn't get a relevant job and spent my 20s being depressed. Few years ago I took a coding bootcamp and I'm a senior software engineer now, likely getting promoted again soon, but starting to get bored, it's not a passion. And again I'm not connecting with people. I'm hitting a wall soon where I will have to put significant effort to advance, maybe do a tech related Masters, or move to the US, but it doesn't feel quite right. I started coding because I needed a stable job.

Boredom, fear and loneliness are common occurrences. High and sudden achievements in unrelated fields punctuated with long periods of depression and anxiety. Always picking low hanging fruit. Apart from few years here and there I never felt like I'm fulfilling my purpose™️. I have many interests but I often drop them before returning years later. Socially I'm very fearful about trying to not come across arrogant or clueless - it's always one or the other.

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk, any suggestions on how can I improve? Any other gifted adults who struggle to find fulfilment or who did eventually find it?