I hate saying this bc I feel like I'm seeking attention but it bothers me, ok? I think.. theres something wrong. Something had to happen to me as a child. I can't have come out so fucked up from a decent childhood. I wish I knewwhat happened to me. Sometimes I think I mightve been sa'd but then I feel bad abt even thinking that. I just wish I could talk to little me. :( Plus my therapist says it might be best for me to try to not touch on it, that I'll be retraumatized. But maybe I need to be. Maybe I'll feel better. Damnit I wanna feel like me.

List of present day issues that I have, that are relative to this topic: Short term memory loss, Emotional dysregulation, Body dsymorphia, Weird obsessions, Depression, Possible BPD, (not diagnosed just rllllly think I have it...) Emotional flashbacks, Much more that I can't think of cus my brains too loud.

I need to go to sleep...

Tdlr; I think I was abused in multiple ways as a kid which has led to present day issues.

I want to know why I am the way I am... but how? PLEASE TELL ME!