Last year, /u/becauseisaidiwould posted the following self-post, and it spoke to me in a way that nothing has before.

To everyone who had a father that didn’t care enough to be there…

To everyone who had a father who could not understand the difference between right and wrong…

To everyone who had a dad that never showed up…

Remember that whatever made him that way… it was not passed on to you. His mistakes are not genetic. His weaknesses belong to him alone. You have a choice.

Let today be a reminder that your legacy will not be one of broken promises. The change between generations begins with you.

My dad missed my concerts, my football games, and even my graduation. He was abusive and manipulative, treating my mother and brothers with anything but respect. I always worry that I'm going to be the same man that he was, and I use this as motivation to try to out-do everything that he has done.

Link to original.

edit: Thank you all for the comments and stories. I'm traveling right now, so I'm trying to read through everything. It's reassuring to be reminded that we aren't alone in this!

edit2: Front page! -- It's hard to read about how many of you are all in similar and worse situations regarding absent and terrible fathers. I intend to read every comment, story, and piece of advice in this thread. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and words of encouragement. I hope that those that need it are able to find a little something in this thread that they can use today. Shout out to /u/becauseisaidiwould, for creating the original post a year ago today.