It has probably come to your attention that Russia is... well, if not quite no more, than certainly not what it once was. Today, nobody knows who rules Russia; the Ukrainian conflict continues to unravel in the west, the Chinese snatch back the land the Tsar took from them centuries ago. As a result, we imagine that Abkhazia, whose international existence is dubious, and who has relied entirely on Russian protection up until now to preserve its existence against numerically and probably qualitatively superior Georgian forces, is probably a bit nervous right now.

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Not to fear! Turkiye is here, and we have promises from Kazakhstan and perhaps China of the potential opportunity of a lifetime--the possibility to organize a free confederation of the peoples of the North Caucuses, to build a free, modern state where all the minority ethnicities are free from the Russian yoke, and restore the region to what it was before the men of the Tsar came. When Abkhazia was under attack, the Confederation of the Peoples of the Caucasus came to its aid. It is time to return the favor. At this very moment Turkiye is working to unwind the Kremlin's dominance over the region.

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So our offer is thus: Turkish peacekeepers will land in Abkhazia to displace the existing Russian garrison, which will be ordered to surrender its arms and stand down and be allowed to leave peacefully [any ethnic minority soldiers whom see the justice of the cause of Caucasian freedom shall be welcomed]. Abkhazia's small army will be bolstered by Kazakh, Turkish and Chinese? aid, and become the nexus of a multiethnic force fighting for the freedom of the North Caucuses, which we're sure is of interest to Abkhazia in this confused time.

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As a sweetener, we'll throw in a complete refurbishment of Babushara Airport, which will bring it up to international standards, and we will begin service with Turkish Airlines as soon as the work is complete, whether the Georgians like it or not. This will enable Abkhazia to resume the tourist trade and begin rebuilding economically from the chaos of the last few years; and it's not like Georgia would be stupid enough to challenge our presence.

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Of course, if it turns out that our noble goal of restoring the peoples of the Caucasus to their rightful place isn't practical because, oh, say, Abkhazia doesn't want to cooperate, well, we'll just have to leave you to the Georgians. We'd really rather not, but it is food for thought.