WAKE UP SHEEPLE

1. Is the world gone crazy??? Electricguitars cannot make music and so they are not guitars!!! Electricguitarists have no idea what it's like to be a musician. They fetishize our music because they're all fucking listeners and that's what listeners do. The best they can hope is to be chromatically-identified percussionists LARPing in noise groups.
2. Why am I suddenly an "acoustic" guitarist??? That's fascism and it's not okay. I'm a guitarist. I make music. That's what makes me a guitarist. I say this online and people call me an EERM (which is a slur) and an "electrophobe" to try and shut me up.
3. All these rich white electricians are like "retronyms are a common function of language" but, like, no, you LISTENER, words have to mean something. I'm a guitarist and you're not. I'm SO tired of listeners telling me what music is. When will musicians be allowed to define ourselves?
4. Then they appropriate the fact that electricguitars are used at statistically significant rates by racial minorities and it's so disgusting. Stop trying to colonize music with your noise. Don't talk about ethnic music. It's not for you. And it doesn't matter if it's used there, it's still noise.
5. Electricguitars are not guitars because there's no natural resonance in the body. DUH. This is how music has been since there was music. And then they're all like, "Electricity is natural? Haven't you ever heard thunder and lightning???" But that's a distraction, shut up. Thunder and lightning are not happening 99.999% of the time and when they do it's a horrifying aberration. We can decide if it's music or noise for specific instances (most of the time it follows an obvious spectral pattern anyway.)
6. Sometimes people tell me "You know, some musicians choose to make noise and be in noise bands [noise GROUPS lol]. A lot of them get pick-ups to amplify their sound and they sound just like noise." but SHUT UP. that never really happens, if it did we would hear from them like we hear from EGs. And when it does happen it's just because society shames musicians and makes them think it's better to listen. But no matter what they're musicians and they make music. They've just destroyed their timbre, and when they realize what they've been pressured into there will be some serious lawsuits against the record companies, who have a big investment in this.
7. Electricguitars are not guitars. They don't have sound holes. And then the electricians and their ironmaidens are like "duhm, acksholly, some electricguitars do get sound holes." But look at this. It's a mutilation carved into a fake plastic body. I can't believe anyone thinks that's an instrument. Its strings don't even do anything or have any purpose other than for some listener to pluck.
8. Like, I could maybe have tolerated this if electricguitarists actually tried to act like guitarists but they don't. Instead of normal names like Blueridge or Jasmine they all play "Fender Stratocaster" or "Telecaster," like, wtf??? You'd think they'd want to hide the fact that they're EGs, that's what they keep whining about, but you can always tell from the name.
9. What really got me was this "Nylon Ceiling." I'm a musician who only plays with musicians. Apparently electricguitarists want to listen to us (what else is new? We're musicians) and it's "electrophobic" when we actively declare we'll never play music with them. But, like, ??? We can play with whoever we want and we fought hard to only play with other musicians. They're just trying to force us musicians back into hearing the noise that all of society is filled with and that we've been conditioned to accept since we were little. They have no idea how hard I worked to only share my music with other musicians who know what's it's like to make music.
10. Like, if electricguitarists want to play with guitarists so badly, why don't they play with each other??? because even they know they sound terrible lol
11. Actually, I did hear about some electricguitarists playing together and it was gross, lol. 400 of them? They're all noise perverts. I can't believe anyone thinks this is acceptable.
12. It might be okay if electricguitars at least looked like guitars but most of them don't. Look at this gallery of freaks. Multiple necks, no fretboard, massive tuning pegs, "whammy bars." (I'd laugh if this wasn't taken so seriously by liberal musicians. Guitars don't have whammy. THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM GUITARS.) Honestly it makes me throw up a little bit.
13. It's only our disgusting, noise supremacist, capitalist culture that even made electricguitars possible in the first place. Before amplifiers no one would think that electricguitars could do anything other than make noise. Most of the world can't even get electricity, lol, none of them would ever believe this nonsense. 99% of the world is "electrophobic."
14. Gah. I really thought I was the one going crazy before I found all of you over here at r/FenderCritical. Thank you. I was pretty much a liberal musician because I thought I should be nice and respectful to listeners, but whatever, guess I'm RadMused now. I am so done with electrical ideology. Can't wait to post more. Anyone else here enjoy Indigo Girls?