[EDIT: The commenters saying that the villains were actually the bean counters and execs are spot on. I think in my head "marketing" was a piss poor stand-in for all the various profit monkeys.]

Pizza Hut was our go-to place for family special occasions when I was a kid. I still remember taking in the amazing smell of the fresh pizzas in the oven while we were waiting to be seated. You could see part of the kitchen from the waiting area, and sometimes we would catch a glimpse of the cooks spreading out the dough or pulling a pie out of the oven on a long wooden board.

We always ordered a pitcher of root beer in a clear, fluted plastic pitcher. The cups were tall, ruby red, and mottled on the outside. I always begged my dad to let me get a salad bar. He usually wouldn't let me – afraid I'd dent my appetite – but I'd be allowed to on my birthday. I would be so jazzed when our waitress would head toward us with a hot pan pizza, placing it in the middle of the table with a triangular metal spatula.

That highly anticipated first bite would just melt in your mouth. Best pizza ever. It's a damn shame how they destroyed such a good thing. It started when they began using frozen, pre-made dough and went downhill from there. So tragic. I would pay a lot of money to have a real, fresh pepperoni pan pizza served up to me one more time.

*sigh … *