I know this might be probably a little controversial but hear me out. I grew up going to baptist church and I never came out to anyone nor my family. But I do think God is okay with me being gay. This realization is very recent and I can feel myself relieved and comfortable with myself after so many years of praying the gay away, self doubt and existential crisis.

However I’m terrified of coming out and I think it would make my life even more difficult than what it already is. But I’m not entirely opposed to the idea though. I just need to feel safe before I get there. I used to go to a baptist church here in Cincinnati before the pandemic but since then I’ve been doing online church. It’s okay, they are welcoming and all that but I do know that if I ever come out to that one member, I would be doomed and my life is gonna be a downward spiral.

I know churches these days are driving people like us away from God telling us we’re not worthy of Him either directly or indirectly and it hurts but I refuse to listen to them because I love Jesus and I know He’s not what they’re saying. He is the center of my life and He always will be. I’m still learning and trying to understand God’s heart and His plans for my life.

Now I’ve also looked into some affirming churches nearby and I thought maybe I could test the waters, maybe I’ll visit someday. I just wanted to know how this is.

Are there people who come to church as ‘straight’ when actually closeted? And do they come out when they find themselves comfortable? Does that happen?

Are they gonna hate me for lying to them that I was straight in the beginning when I come out to them eventually?

To those that love God, was coming out really worth it socially and career wise?

I would also appreciate if you guys can let me know if there’s an online affirming church I could attend or really anything that’s around the area.

God bless you all and God loves you ❤️