[27M] Hi guys, I’m coming from a conservative background and I recently discovered that I’m somewhat leaning towards Side B.

I’m a Baptist and I have gay feelings which neither me nor anyone can change anything about it, it’s just there. And I wanna have family with kids just like straight couples do and live a life that aligns with my beliefs. If you’d ask why, to put it simply, I have had a very hard life since childhood and my beliefs are the reason why I’m safe, independent, protected, confident and happy now.

I’ve never been in a relationship, either with girls or guys. When people ask me why I’m not in a relationship yet, I’d use my career as an excuse which is actually true, I don’t have any other say and would usually avoid the conversation. If a believing girl came my way to acknowledge my gay feelings and still wanted to pursue life with me, I have lots of love to give and make sure she’s loved and is happy. And maybe one day pass on the legacy to my children. Intimacy is the only factor that would be lacking here. I believe there is more to life than just sex, and I still think it’s possible to live without it. It’s does hit me hard when I see straight couple living their happy lives with children and they never have to face such a hurdle. And it hits even more deeper when I see gay couples living their lives together happily. I use porn to deal with my urges but I’m hopeful that if I’m with a girl, that’ll go away eventually.

I just need to hear a justification to what I believe, if there is anything at all. I cannot change anything about my beliefs either. If I had the opportunity of a straight lifestyle provided that she acknowledges my gay feelings I’m gonna pursue it. I wanted to know if I’d be happy even if I go about this route, if not I’d rather embrace singleness.

TL;DR: I’m very conservative and have gay feelings, there’s nothing you can do about it. Do I live the straight life if she (believer) acknowledges my gay feelings or embrace singleness?