I know a lot of gay men prefer to live without kids. When I came out I wanted to have a kid and it was probably because I had good relations with my mom and really just wanted to follow them straight crowds.

Kids was one of the first things she asked about besides trying to pray the gay away even though I told her I’ve been doing that my whole life multiple times.

But now that we’ve grown apart, I’ve been reflecting on myself and looking at what I really want for myself(once again). I’m slowly realizing that I don’t want to have kids. I’m not sure if I’d be happy to take someone else’s.

I feel like it’s an additional burden and I don’t wanna add any more burden into my life. I’ve been trying to survive in God’s grace my whole life. I’m gonna be 30 and I am tired for that kind of energy.